i can see your light
by abbyli
Summary: Baby Bonnie Salvatore is only a few hours old when Damon finally starts to heal.


**title: **i can see your light

**summary:** Baby Bonnie Salvatore is only a few hours old when Damon finally starts to heal.

**characters: **bamon, mentions of steroline, ofc

**rating: **t? maybe?

**disclaimer: **I disclaim!

**notes: **This idea popped into my head and I had to give it a go. It's not the best but I hope you like or even hate. Feedback is appreciated. Tissue warning!

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Ava Salvatore is seven when her baby sister is born.

"What do you think of her, Ava?" her father asks, carefully holding the infant out for the little girl to inspect.

Ava wrinkles her nose in such a way that makes her mother hide a soft giggle. "She's kind of wrinkly, isn't she?"

Both parents chuckle, Stefan gently bringing the new baby back up to his chest. "I think she'll outgrow that."

Ava settles down into the crook of her mother's arms, smiling herself as she watches her dad cradling the baby. Even at seven years old, Ava Faith Salvatore wasn't the jealous type. She had born into a family with enough love to go around and that was okay with her. It was easier for her, especially when her mother and her father informed her that she was going to be a big sister.

The steady thump of her mother's heartbeat is lulling her to sleep.

"Hey, guys."

_-;_

Damon takes in the scene in front of him before he opens his mouth.

Caroline in the bed, little Ava curled up in her arms while Stefan strolls the linoleum with the tiny baby curled comfortably in his arms. He can't help the sad smile that crosses his lips at the sight, unable to find any kind of jealousy in his heart.

Why would he?

"Hey, guys."

Caroline's heavy eyelids fly open and a smile crosses her lips. "Damon!"

Stefan whirls around so fast that Damon fears that baby will go flying out of his arms. His brother's smile is dynamite, always lighting up the world with it's gentle joy.

"Hello, brother," Stefan murmurs.

Damon returns the smile with a weary one of his own, his eyes falling on the seven year old replica of Caroline. Except for the eyes...she got Stefan's eyes.

"Hey squirt."

"Don't call me squirt!" Ava bursts out, ignoring the laughter from her parents. "Not funny!"

"Oh, but it is!" Damon replies with a teasing smirk before turning his attention back to his brother and sister in law. "How are you?" he says to Caroline. "You look beautiful." Caroline rolls her eyes, looking unabashed. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Motherhood agrees with you, Caroline Salvatore."

Caroline just tilts her head, her own sad smile starting to form. "I'm good, Damon. Really good." She shifts slightly and the neck of her hospital gown creeps down, showing just the beginning of the line of red raised skin that is blazed down her chest.

Ava begins to wriggle herself out of her mother's embrace and lightly jumps down to the floor. She teeters slightly on her sparkle sneaker clad feet and crosses the floor, wrapping her short arms around her uncle's knees. She pulls almost immediately but Damon catches her hand, quickly scooping her up and ignoring her surprised squawk.

"Listen, how about you two get some z's and I'll take Ava for a bite to eat?" Damon offers, catching his brother's eyes above Ava's blond curls.

Stefan nods. "That sounds fine to me."

"Only no junk food!" Caroline bursts out. "Something healthy!"

Damon is already out the door, a laughing Ava tossed over his shoulder. "Yeah yeah, little mother."

_-;_

"So tell me the truth. How does it feel to be a big sister?"

Ava is situated carefully on the high stool, her milkshake making sweat beads on the counter. She scrubs at it lightly with her sleeve for a moment before meeting her uncle's gaze.

"It's ok. It's weird."

"What's weird about it?" Damon asks softly.

Ava shrugs a shoulder. "She's so little. I-I dunno."

"Do you feel like...like you need to watch over her?" Damon offers lightly. "Like you need to take care of her?"

Ava's emerald eyes brighten just a bit. "Yeah. Yeah, I do." A silent beat later. "Is that bad?"

Damon shakes his head before he takes a loud slurp out of his coffee. He ignores Ava's wrinkling of the nose (God, this kid was so much like Caroline) and raises a brow. "No, honey. It's not. I felt exactly the same way when your dad was born. In fact, I was the same age as you."

"You were?"

"Yep. I was seven and _a half_. I had to remind my parents of that every single day," he smirks. "Whenever they would introduce me to someone and my age was asked, I would immediately say 'and a half' whenever it was said."

For the first time in two days, a real smile crosses Ava's lips. She takes a sip of her milkshake, her brow furrowing in a way that reminded Damon so much of his brother that he has to hide his own smile behind his cup. But the brooding deepens and he puts his coffee down.

"Kid, you're going to have wrinkles before you're twelve. What's with the long face?"

Ava leans forward a bit, not meeting Damon's inquiring eyes for a moment. "I heard Mommy and Dad talking a few months ago before my little sister came. They were saying that having her would be a little scary for Mommy's heart."

Damon's own heart quickens.

"Did they say why?"

Ava takes a deep breath. "They said that it was because of aunt Bonnie's heart is helping Mommy live."

He nods. "Yes, that's right."

With a complete one-eighty, Ava turns, looking up at him. "What was Aunt Bonnie like?"

And those four little words change Damon Salvatore's life forever.

"Okay, squirt. You're seven now. I think it's time," he whispers. He knows that this should really come from Caroline herself, she had known Bonnie a heck of a lot longer than he had himself but...

Bonnie Bennett had been a saving grace in his life. She had swooped in when he needed someone the most, when he was shutting the rest of his loved ones out and that list wasn't very long to begin with. Her love and her ability to kick his ass up between his teeth had been exactly what he had needed at the time and with that, he found his need to live once again.

Their time together had been brief at the most. Most of it had been spent fighting, throwing things at each other's heads, and a few nights of the hottest rolls in the hay that he had ever had. Yeah, those were nights he liked to remember in his piggy little mind.

But he also remembered her smile. Her outlandish laugh that would shake her whole body and there wasn't much there to begin with. She fit so perfectly into his arms it seemed like his embrace was made for her to be there forever.

So he tells her little goddaughter all about her. Ava barely remembers Bonnie, having only been three when Bonnie had died but she had been raised knowing so much about the woman who's heart beat soundly in her mother's chest. Ava is seven years old and she understands how lucky she is to still have her mother.

He speaks about the two years that he had had with Bonnie. How he had met her at Stefan and Caroline's wedding and they had gotten into a knock-down drag out fight that ended with her shoving a whole slice of wedding cake in his face. He tells her about he had gotten his revenge by dumping a tray of ice cubes down her back on a wintery morning. Boy, did that make her mad. And that word is an understatement.

He mentions other things. Some unimportant and some so amazing. About the night that Ava was born and how Bonnie had been there with Caroline in the delivery room because then, a much younger and terrified Stefan had passed out cold. She had been the one to place a screeching Ava into Stefan's arms for the first time.

When he finally allows himself to remember the night that Bonnie had died, the hole in his heart burns. Damon can't recall the last time he actually spoke about it because really, it just hurt too much.

Tonight, it's just a little easier.

That phone call that changed his whole life, discovering that Bonnie had given him power of attorney, signing those papers so her heart could be given to a very sick and ailing Caroline-all those events just replay in his head like a technicolor film.

He can't help but talk about that heart that beats in Caroline's chest. How it's a heart that is so filled with love from it's previous owner and it's new owner. How a piece of Bonnie still lives on in Caroline and that is stretched out into that brand new little baby.

It hurts. It will always hurt.

When Damon finally brings his story to a close, Ava is crying softly. He's so tempted to join her. To just cry it out and be done with it. But knows that it's not right. Not at this moment. So he just pulls the little girl against his chest and lets, feeling the hole in his heart start to knit together just a bit.

After Ava pulls herself together, she leans up and wraps her arms around his neck, pressing a messy kiss to his cheek.

"I love you, Uncle Damon."

Damon swallows the lump in his throat, plastering a fake smile onto his lips. "Love ya too, squirt."

_-;_

"You're back." Caroline's voice is tired but still deliriously happy. Damon doubts that will wear off any time soon.

Ava doesn't answer her mother. She gently pulls herself away from her uncle, tiptoeing across the floor so to not disturb her dozing father on the couch. She crawls up next to her mother and baby sister on the bed, looking down at the baby with a gaze that is so evident with love.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Can we name her Bonnie?"

Caroline lets a tear slip out, her free hand skating across her chest for a second as it finds it's home wrapped around her daughter. She presses her lips to Ava's temple, another tear landing in her curls.

"I think that is a perfect name," Caroline replies softly.

_-;_

Damon is already outside the hospital room at that moment, but those exchanges of words don't cease to escape him.

His knees tremble and finally threaten to give out on him. A hand snaps out and rests against the wall, deep breathes skirting through his chest as he struggles to hold on.

"Damn it," he whispers as the hot tears finally win the raging battle.

He gives in. He gives in to all of it, letting them roll down his cheeks, not even bothering to try and force them back anymore. What's the point? There's only so much hurt a man can take.

But there's so much more love.

Bonnie's words exactly when he had his emotional meltdown after something ridiculous that he can't even remember at this moment.

She was right. She was always right.

Damon swallows back the sob that tries to escape, pressing a fist to his mouth as he finally sinks down to the floor, his back sliding down the wall. Another sob breaks through and he cries just as softly as Ava had, his tears continuing to roll down his cheeks and stain his teeshirt.

For once, it feels good to cry.

He stays like that, practically curled up in the fetal position for nearly ten minutes. He lets it all out. He lets out all the stupid emotion, the pain, the sadness, even the laughter too. He finds himself thinking about all the joy that he had found with her, the joy that he still holds in his aching heart and cannot help but let the smile break through.

Yeah, Bonnie Bennett may have pissed him off at nearly all times. She would get in his face, challenge him, never let him push her around. In fact, she was the only that did all the pushing but it wasn't until later when he realized why. She would pressure him, force him to fight back against the people that tried to tear him down and beg him to remember that he still had his brother, that he was loved.

With Bonnie, he felt loved. She had loved him so much.

Ava Salvatore is seven years old when she learns about her aunt Bonnie's story.

And baby Bonnie Salvatore is only a few hours old when Damon finally starts to heal.

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**Gahhhhh! **

**Whataya think? Should I burn the lot? **

**Thanks guys. Have a safe and happy weekend. **


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